The Deception Ballad (anon.)

"Now have a good year," said Sir Vivian
As the ship sailed fron Southampton quay.
"And always remember the motto,
"Whether on base or at sea."

    BAS always knows best.
    There's really nothing to fear.
    Confusion may reign on the bases
    But it doesn't affect us back here.

Now the first time that I saw Deception
There was steam rising out of the sand,
But Sir Vivian had told us its history.
It's as safe as our own native land.

    And BAS always knows best,
    There really is nothing to fear.
    But I come from Tristan da Cunha,
    And its meaning is perfectly clear.

It's not very pleasant to look at,
The edge of the crater is round,
There's a ruddy great cloud hanging o'er it
That seems to come out of the ground.

    But BAS always knows best,
    There really is no need for fears,
    It's safe to stay here for the winter,
    It's safe for a thousand more years.

There are earthquakes which wake us for breakfast,
The tremors go on through the day,
But they say that volcanoes are harmless
As long as they grumble away.

    And BAS always knows best,
    There really is nothing to fear.
    But I'm not a bloody seismologist
    And I'm glad that the Pardo is near.

When the ash and the boulders start falling,
If things are as bad as it looks,
I'd rather a good air-raid shelter,
Than these words from Sir Vivian Fuchs.

    But BAS always knows best,
    Tho' the truth be writ clear on the wall,
    Yet we know we can trust old Sir Vivian,
    So it can't have erupted at all!